Chaos • Alignment • Synchronicity • Source

But it isn’t as easy as “I once thought this, now I’m going to think that instead”. I often use the language “pulling it through neutral.” because flipping the switch from one side to the other can be nigh impossible. If you’re struggling with anger and you want to be more accepting, you can’t simply shut down the anger and be a ray of sunshine.  The midway point might be easier to achieve in the short-run.  Accepting that you are angry, that much of that lies in your lack of control of the outside world, moving through neutral where you simply acknowledge the feeling and take a deep breath, and then looking at the available responses to the situation and evaluating from a calmer perspective which will achieve your desired result, and…

This. Takes. Time.

The Dalai Lama says “It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view.”

Perspective and re-framing are great tools here.  Back to the Dalai Lama, “The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life.”  If you can pause and take a moment to think before you respond, so you can zoom out and see what is happening from a broader perspective, it is much more likely you’ll respond in a more even-tempered way.

The goal isn’t to be walked all over because you feel like you have no backbone here … the goal is to maintain the dignity of all parties, and find an amicable solution to the problem at hand.

Growth can happen in regard to any aspect of your life – social, emotional, relationship, financial, educational, employment, etc, because issues can arise in all of these areas, too.  Growth happens when we accept the reality of a situation and choose how we react to it.  Change is inevitable. What’s the saying? “The only constants in this world are change and taxes.”  Being able to roll with the punches is a skill you need to develop and it happens in the form of personal growth.

When you play in the sandbox of life, you can learn to make do with what is around you, sticks, stones, shells, leaves, etc. But it’s great to have a shovel… and then there are all kinds of fun tools, trowels and buckets and imprint forms and more. We can all “make do” with what we naturally pick up and learn as we grow, but when we use intention and actively engage in learning new tools to add to our toolkit, then we can develop some pretty amazing interactions with one another and our world around us. And that’s really the crux of Personal Growth. It’s about not needing to just make-do any longer, it’s about having the right tool for the right moment.

Remember, you don’t have to go this alone. Creating and maintaining life-lines with other people can be essential to your growth mindset — if things are going awry, being able to reach out to a friend and ask for support is a tool we can’t live without. And sometimes, we don’t even realize we’ve gone off the path, it takes someone from the outside to nudge us a little in the right direction. If you’re looking to build relationships like this, reach out and let’s do a free 30 minute discovery call, I’d love the opportunity to assist you in building community around your active personal growth journey.