The little angry monster that rides us around. Or at least, that’s how I think of it sometimes. We all have that inner voice. Sometimes it is encouraging, like when we have to start a new job “You’ve got this, you’ve done this before, it’ll be fine”. Sometimes it can be full of wisdom, like “no, don’t park here, there’s no lights and no one will be around when you get out late.” But other times it is down right negative and unnecessary, “You’re a failure; you can’t do this; you’ll be alone forever”. No one deserves to be told these things, least of all by ourselves. In the moment it can be hard to remember anything good about yourself, but I’ve got some really great tools to help with that.
Negative self talk can come in different flavours, it can be about avoidance or fear, it can also trick us into thinking it is being realistic, when really it is being condescending and unfair. You’ll know your self-talk has turned negative any time your inner critic is making you feel badly, whether it’s about yourself, your abilities, your thoughts themselves, or the people you choose in your life.
Unfortunately, this type of self-talk can have serious consequences. It can start by keeping you from doing the activities and hobbies that you enjoy, for fear of failure. It can isolate and ostracize you from your community because you think you don’t fit in. It can keep you from going after that new position at work that seems like it was written just for you, because you don’t feel deserving. And if all that wasn’t bad enough, it can lead to major stress and even depression.
Lucky for us, there are things you can do to help mitigate your angry monster, and stop him from ruling the roost.
Somewhere in these options there must be something to help you combat your negative self-talk! It isn’t as easy as picking one, trying it once and giving up when it doesn’t work the first time. Practice, practice, practice. You are worthwhile and worthy of learning to turn down the dial on your own inner critic.
One last thing: I like to have a little charm or a note on my wall, something that gives me a visual cue to remember — this is just a little angry monster who wants to keep you from living the life you were born to live. Maybe this monster has protected you in the past and that’s why you’re believing him now, but he doesn’t serve you anymore. So pick him up, give him a hug, and let him go!
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