I turned it off, sat up, and immediately knew I did not want to be awake. I planned to shower this morning, so I reached down and pulled out my trusty slogan “Follow the plan, not the mood!” and I was able to get through the tasks, arriving at my desk dressed and still a little drippy.

Friday mornings I have an amazing scheduled event with a somewhat new friend who lives in Trinidad and Tobago. We do what is known as body-doubling. This is a term I’ve adopted from the ADHD community. In simple terms, it basically means working side by side on our own tasks. We check in at 7am (my time, 8am hers) and lay out our plan for the timeframe (about 2 hours) and then with some gentle music playing over Zoom, we go about our own work, without really taking notice of one another. As the time comes near 9am, we stop the music and check-out with one another, talking about what worked, what we did, and what we’ll likely do next week. It’s a great system — we’ve been meeting like this for quite a few weeks now and this is when I get the most work done (like right now writing this blog post!)

This morning my accountability buddy (another term for this activity) left a message saying she would be a little late, and that felt fitting for the type of morning I was having. I opened Zoom to let myself be prepared for her arrival and then promptly got lost to the scroll. I didn’t want to be awake, I didn’t want to work, and I absolutely did not want to meet up with someone who was going to hold me to my own good practices. But then she arrived and I knew I needed to do something to change my mood or I’d completely waste this 2 hour window of opportunity.

That’s where gratitude and mindset come in.

My friend was feeling the same way I was, it was as though we’d rolled out of the same wrong side of bed this morning. And so, I used the tools that I have at hand — namely: my mind and my voice.

I said something that equated to this: It’s about mindset. I need to change my mindset this morning. So I choose to use gratitude. I am grateful for this opportunity we have each Friday to better myself and my work. I feel as though this is a helpful and healing place where I can succeed at the jobs I set out for myself. I am forever thankful to the internet and Zoom for allowing me to connect with [my friend], whom otherwise I would never have met. And I am grateful for this time we set aside each week. And so, with that in my mind now, I am going to work on what I need this morning, instead of pushing it aside.

And she responded in kind, saying this was most certainly a place for creating successful outcomes and that she, too, was grateful we could rely on each other every week to hold this space.

And that was all it took to change my mindset this morning Just a heart-felt connection, sharing honesty and gratitude with someone who returned it in the same flavour. And here I am, writing these words rather than letting myself be mindlessly lost to the scroll.

Do you have people in your life who share your work ethic and can help push you toward the outcomes you seek most? It can sometimes be about cultivating our connections with the right sort of people to keep us focused. Having a good-times buddy is one thing, but having an accountability buddy is what we often need most when we are struggling with getting our tasks done.

I’ve written about all these topics over the past few months. Check out gratitude and mindset and account-a-buddy posts. It’s not just knowing what they are, it’s learning when to pull these great tools out of your toolkit! If you have any questions or you’re looking for somewhere to start, please feel free to reach out!