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Have you ever felt like you were just too far beyond your capacity, that you cannot stretch yourself any thinner to do more, be more, say more, have more, ANYTHING more? When we reach full capacity, we are often bursting at the seams and nothing is really getting done as it should be. In fact, reaching full capacity usually means we are over the threshold of what we can actually manage, and have tipped far into the red zone.
Our maximum capacity is not our ideal capacity, and certainly nowhere close to our ideal working condition.
Our capacity is the space we have for taking on new things. It is filled with all our daily/weekly/monthly commitments and our enjoyments, too. We all have things we’re dealing with — some of them might be overwhelming, and some are just humdrum must-do’s. But we all have our limit, eventually we will reach it and will have to say no to even important things. The best way to limit your limit is to say no when the stakes aren’t so high — if you’re creeping into the overwhelm and someone asks for more from you, there are ways to handle this without simply taking it on.
What do you do when things start edging toward that red zone? Can you stop the slide dead in it’s tracks, or have you even noticed it is happening? Let’s talk about it — here are
5 tips to keep yourself from exceeding the limit of what you can handle in any given moment:
1) Know where you’re at — keep a running list of your commitments. It doesn’t have to be written down, it can be a soft notion in your mind of what all you’ve agreed to do. Or, if you struggle with that, it can be a physical list, make one in notes on your phone, divide it into categories such as work, family, community, etc. Add to it as need be, and be sure to keep it up to date.
2) Check in with yourself — whenever someone asks something of you, or your work has a new expectation of your role, or your family wants to plan something big, remember that you don’t need to give an immediate answer. Taking time to think about where you’re at and what you can reasonably do is a fair reaction. Check your running list, see if you have the capacity. Then, when you’ve considered all the factors, you can give an informed decision one way or the other.
3) Delegate! — have a working knowledge of who in your work mates, friends, family and other circles is available for supporting you on any of your needed tasks. If you don’t have the capacity, but the deed must be done, reach out and ask, the worst they can say is a no because they are already at capacity, but then ask the next person on your list!
4) No is not a bad word — when you simply must turn down someone’s request don’t feel badly about it. Knowing your limit and checking in with yourself won’t always give you a magically renewed capacity. If you are overwhelmed, the way out is not through an excess of new responsibilities. Say no, give a short version of why not, and move on. And know that unless they are your dependent, it is not up to you to brainstorm solutions with this person.
5) Self-care — this one cannot be overstated. One of the ways to work within your capacity is to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, not just the basics like food, water and rest, but also down-time from stressful activities and more up-time with the things that fill your cup.
Some people simply have more capacity than others. Remember that things like physical health, mental health, socio-economic status, among others, can greatly impact our ability to take on new tasks. If someone else says no to you, maybe you aren’t working with the whole picture. Don’t take it personally. We all have our limits and we all know that saying no isn’t easy.
If you’re looking to learn about your capacity, or role-play how to have conversations about saying no, reach out for a free 30 minute discovery call and let’s see if we’d be a good fit!
